Category Archives: general commentary

The Proposal

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I’ve known for quite awhile that I wanted to marry Tony. I don’t think we would’ve went out on more than a handful of dates if he hadn’t been the kind of guy I could see myself with long-term. And I think, at least to a degree, the same was true for him.

Around October of last year, Tony and I were talking and he asked me how early I thought it would be okay to get engaged. At that time, I knew that I was already ready to say yes, but I told him that I thought dating for a year would be a good idea.

A couple of months later we traveled to Colorado with his parents to go skiing. On the way home, we had a pretty extensive discussion about our wedding and what we each had envisioned. We’d talked about a general timeline for our future, and had tentatively decided that getting married in October of 2012 would be ideal.

Christmas rolled around, and even though it hadn’t been a year, I thought I might get a ring. Then Valentine’s Day. Then our one-year anniversary. No ring.

Instead, from about the time of our anniversary on, Tony’s tone about “our wedding” changed when it came up in conversation. Instead of “when we get married,” he started saying, “if we get married.” And when people would ask us directly, he’d blow it off like it wasn’t coming anytime soon.

At first, I thought he was just trying throw me off so that he could surprise me. But then a few more months passed, and I started to get a little worried. Maybe he had changed his mind and decided that he wasn’t sure if I was the one he wanted to marry, or maybe he just wasn’t the marrying kind.

Finally one night as we were about to fall asleep, I asked him if he still thought he wanted to marry me. He said yes. I asked when he was going to ask. He replied it was complicated, and that I just needed to drop it.

So I did. I figured that based on his response, we were probably several months away from getting engaged and pretty much threw our earlier timeline discussion out the window.

Fast forward a few weeks to Saturday, June 8. It was Symphony in the Flint Hills – a performance from the Kansas City Symphony setup in the middle of the Flint Hills. This event has been going on for several years, and it’s something I’d always wanted to do. Knowing that Tony loves being outside, and has an appreciation for cultural events, I thought he might like it too. So for our one-year anniversary, I surprised him with tickets.

That day was beautiful. It was windy and warm, but tolerable. We’d packed a blanket, a couple of Gatorades and a bit of cash to get a bite to eat. We parked in a pasture and then hiked about a half mile or so to get to the event venue.

There were thousands of people there, so we knew that it would be important to stake a claim on spots for the concert before we did anything else. So we walked to the western edge of the seating area and spread out our blanket about halfway between the front and the back. We didn’t have a great view of the stage, but we decided we didn’t really care about that so much – we just wanted a great view of the landscape, especially as the sun began to set.

We ate dinner (massive BBQ sandwiches) and bought a cookie for later. We jammed into a covered wagon ride and went for a short ride. Then we looked in the art tent, and moseyed around to listen to bits and pieces of last educational talks that were going on. We were mostly trying to soak everything in and get our barrings so we would know where to go after the concert when it was dark. We were both really interested in the stargazing activity that was planned that night.

Once the concert started, we were settled on the blanket, enjoying the sounds of the symphony, the landscape to our west and each other. It was such a neat feeling that we were witnessing something so rare and grand in scale (both the concert and the Flint Hills themselves).

The entire time I was quizzing Tony to see if he was having fun, if he liked the concert and  what he thought about the event. I hadn’t been sure that Tony would enjoy the experience as much as I would when I bought the tickets, so I really wanted to make sure he was having a good time. Luckily for me, he was.

As the symphony began their last piece, the sun was starting to set. In fact, the last notes were played not too long before the sun finally dipped below the landscape. It was all very well timed.

As the masses started to move out. Tony and I decided to linger at the blanket and enjoy the last bits of light and the colors of the sky. It would still be awhile before the stargazing would take place, and there wasn’t really anything better going on. So we were just laying around hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.

Out of the blue, Tony asked me, “So how much did these tickets cost?” I answered and immediately started to justify the (somewhat) pricey tickets, when Tony stopped me and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a little red package, handed it to me and said, “I just wanted to make sure my anniversary gift fell in line.”

At this point, I was completely, completely caught off guard. We’d just had one of my favorite moments of my entire life, and there it was, about to get even better. Tears started to well up in my eyes.

Then Tony said, “My sister always told me to warn you if I gave you jewelry in a ring-sized box and it wasn’t a ring.” So as I’m struggling to open the tiny package, my mind quickly started racing… what does that mean? Is he saying that as a warning, and this isn’t really a ring? So I tried to play it cool and not have a reaction until I knew exactly what I was opening. It felt like it took forever to get that darn little box opened.

But then, there it was. A beautiful engagement ring. And Tony looked at me and asked, “So, do you want to marry me?” And I said, “Of course!”

The rest of that night was a bit of a blur. I do remember at one point thinking I was glad that it was dark out. I knew if people could see how big I was smiling as we walked around and checked out all of the different telescopes at the stargazing station, that they’d probably think I was a bit crazy.

Symphony photo provided courtesy of Gary Jones at jones huyett Partners. I wish I would’ve realized he was there. I would have had him take a real classy photo of Tony & me to mark the occasion. 

My BOW Weekend

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About three weekends ago I had the opportunity to attend Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks & Tourism’s Becoming an Outdoors Woman spring program. It was a three-day weekend at Rock Springs 4-H Center with about 50 other women interested in outdoor activities.

Going into the weekend, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. I knew the courses I was going to attend while I was there, and I had been to Rock Springs camp a few times when I was younger. What I hadn’t really expected, was the friendships I formed and the confidence I gained while at BOW. I got to really get to know a few co-workers that also attended the program a bit better, and met several new gals that share my love for being outside, being active, and in some cases, shooting a bow. I never had considered how a weekend of uninterrupted time with other outdoors ladies would help me get a better idea of who I was, what I enjoyed and what I was good at.

A few of my cabin mates for the weekend.

My weekend started off with intro to canoeing on Friday afternoon. I selected this class because Tony purchased a canoe over the winter that I have big plans for. I wouldn’t say this course was challenging, but I enjoyed being out on the water and getting in some physical activity. I still think I prefer solo adventures in a kayak, but the canoe was still pretty fun.

 

On Saturday I had Intro to Archery and Spring Turkey Hunting class. Going into the weekend, I wasn’t really sure what to expect with either course. I have a lot of interest and some experience with each topic and didn’t know if I’d really get much out of the classes. I was pleasantly surprised by both. I had brought the bow I’ve been using along with me for intro to archery. After the first 20 minutes hearing about various types of bows and the different parts, I got to spend the morning shooting at various targets. While I’ve shot at targets in the past, they’ve always been the standard bullseye variety. The BOW archery setup had lots of options – deer, turkey and bullseyes. I was able to spend a lot of time shooting my bow and really had an opportunity to work on my accuracy. After several rounds I had dialed my arrow placement into a pretty tight diameter on the targets I was shooting at (primarily the turkey and deer), and I was happy with my improved accuracy.

Spring turkey hunting was great. Even though I’ve been out hutning several times this spring trying to get a turkey, I learned a lot in this session. The instructors talked through the entire hunting process – scouting, turkey habits, appropriate camo, how to call and the actual hunt. I knew some of what they were saying, but they helped fill in a few gaps and gave me the opportunity to ask a few questions without fear of feeling stupid. At the end of the course, we each had the opportunity to take a shot at a turkey head target with a shotgun at 20 yards. While I’m not interested in ever hunting with a gun, I had pretty good aim and would’ve killed that turkey if it had been real. : )

The final course I attended was probably the most informative of the weekend – wilderness survival. I’d have to say that before that class I had never really given much thought to what I’d need to survive if I got stuck somewhere. I mean, I’ve seen a few of those Survivorman TV shows, and have heard about that Bear guy, but I’d never really pictured myself in that situation. With my upcoming trip to backpack/camp in Utah, I felt like my need to have a solid survival pack was pretty pertinent. Here’s what I walked away with:

  1. I need to get a solid knife. Something with a thick blade that extends all the way down through the bottom of the handle. It will be good for hiking, but also good for hunting.
  2. I need to be able to make fire. Simple cottonballs with vasaline on them, a striker and a  ferrocium rod. It’s super easy to start a fire with these items. They’re light and compact to pack and the cottonball burns a heck of a lot longer than I had ever thought possible.
  3. Always carry a whistle. It doesn’t take as much energy to blow a whistle as it does to yell, and you can blow it longer than you can yell. Also, you can use it to annoy undesirable travel companions… just joking.
  4. Basic first aid kit with bandages, antibotic cream and pain killers are important even in the wilderness. I carry something like this in my car, so it really only makes sense that I’d take one with me when camping.
  5. Make a small investment in a basic snake bite kit. I mean, I am going to Utah and I hear they have snakes. Apparently Wal-Mart sells a pretty good kit called the Sawyer Extractor for like $15. It could save your life if you can’t get to an anti-venom treatment fast enough.

Looking back at my weekend, I really hope I get to attend BOW again. And this time, I’d like to go with my mom and her sisters. While they might not be interested in the same hunting-oriented classes that I was, I think they’d enjoy some of the other offerings – bird watching, dutch oven cooking, stream ecology, intro to almost any kind of gun you can think, etc. I’m certain it would be a great bonding time for all of us!

My first turkey hunt

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Last weekend I went on my first turkey hunt. Actually, my first hunt of any kind. Ever.

Going in, I had no idea what to expect. I’ve heard many hunting stories, but I wasn’t certain how I’d react to seeing a live turkey up close. And I really wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy the experience or ever consider going again.

The day started off a bit rocky. Tony and I drove out into the country looking for a good place to setup the blind. I really had no idea what we were looking for, but I could tell Tony really wanted to find a good spot. He wanted me to have the best chance possible of seeing turkeys and getting a shot.

After about an hour of searching (and one unplanned trip back into Lebo so I could go pee), we found the perfect place out on the Flint Hills National Wildlife Refuge. (Side note: I’m perfectly capable of going pee outside, but I had on several layers of clothes which upped the difficulty factor. I really didn’t want to take any chances.)

We trekked about a quarter mile or so back into a field, unpacked our gear, setup the Dave Smith hen decoy and crawled into the blind nestled into a lightly wooded area facing the field. Then we started waiting. Every five or ten minutes, Tony would use one of his many turkey calls, hoping to get a responding gobble from a male and lure him our direction.

After about 30 minutes we hadn’t heard anything and started playing word games to pass the time. Just when I was starting to get into the word game and thought I was about to stump Tony (professional sports team/mascot that starts with the letter “Q”), he sounded the turkey call and in the distance we heard a gobble.

Suddenly, the entire experience changed.

Excitement was in the air and the adrenaline started pumping. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but I thought there was a pretty good chance I was about to see a turkey! I was on the edge of my seat straining to listen in hopes of hearing another gobble. Tony called out again, and we got another response. This time, even closer.

For the next ten or 15 minutes, Tony worked the turkeys calling them in from the west. Before I knew it, I was looking out the blind at a tom strutting about 10 yards from us, stomping and trying to get the attention of the lady-like decoy we’d planted. And to make things even sweeter, he had brought a buddy with him. (I guess in the turkey world, they sorta like bringing a buddy out to watch as they mate… or something like that. I’m still not completely sure I understand turkey mating habits.)

As the big, puffy tom was walking around, I was inside the blind fumbling, trying to get the bow loaded and ready to take a shot. Meanwhile, Tony was calm, talking me through the shot and where I should be aiming.

The tom turned away from us, and I finally had my chance! Tony told me to draw back the bow and get ready. Unfortunately, that’s when things went downhill. I pulled on the bow string and barely got it to budge. So I adjusted myself slightly in my chair (I’d never shot a bow seated before – who would’ve thought it was so much different…), took a deep breathe and pulled again. This time, my shoulder went pop, pop, pop and a jolt of pain ran through my arm and down my back. I still wasn’t able to get the bow string to pull all the way back. Crap. So I told Tony he needed to take the shot – I didn’t want this opportunity (and his efforts) to go wasted.

Then it was Tony’s turn to fumble around in the blind trying to get in position and get his bow loaded. Then his cellphone started to ring. (What!?! How was that thing not on silent?) Thankfully, he kept calling and the birds stayed within range. On Tony’s second attempt, he hit the turkey. Success!

While I was (and still am) pretty irritated that I didn’t perform the way I thought/expected I would, I really enjoyed my hunting experience! (It wasn’t like I was expecting to get a turkey the first time, but I didn’t think I’d have any troubles drawing the bow. I’ve been practicing that for months.) The adrenaline rush was cool, and I was amazed at how beautiful and colorful turkeys are. I’m already looking forward to my next hunting trip and working to build strength in my arm so I can get the shot next time.

Who knows, maybe if I’m lucky, I will actually get my first turkey.

Dream Vacation

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Some people may find this bizarre, but I found my dream (adventure) vacation via a LivingSocial email the other day. It’s a 6-day trip to Moab, Utah where I’d be hiking, mountain biking, ATV-ing and learning to rock climb. It’s the kind of vacation where I’d be out in the middle of beautiful country, with what I can only assume to be little-to-no access to internet/phone. Just me, the other folks on trip, the scenery and open sky.

It was the kind of thing where the more I read, the more convinced I became that I needed to go. Not only was the agenda awesome, the price was great too – and it included all food, gear, etc. I wasn’t sure how I could come up with $950 (plus airfare), but the wheels were turning… I was determined this was what I needed to do.

Fast forward 24 hours later. I check my (snail) mailbox and see I’ve received another doctor bill for Leo’s surgery to the tune of $950. Crap.

So now what do I do?

Honestly. At this point, I’m not sure… My rationale, responsible side says the bill in the mail was a sign and that getting it paid off needs to be my top priority. But my heart is still telling me to try to find a way to make it work. I’ve got 5 days left before the deal expires and the trip goes back to $1,900.

So I’m currently evaluating and thinking, thinking and evaluating. What does a trip of my lifetime worth…? Well, I think it’s time to start selling some paintings. While my inventory is pretty low, the paintings I’ve kept are what I consider my best. So if you’ve considered buying one of my pieces, or have any interest in finding out what I’ve got available, shoot me an email. Make me an offer. I’m willing to negotiate.

Image credit: LivingSocial website

Kiss that Cast Goodbye

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About 10 weeks ago, I traveled with the Menke family to Steamboat Springs, Colorado on my first-ever ski trip. The first half-day we were in town, I listened to everyone’s advice and took a ski lesson.

At the same time, Tony decided to take a snowboarding lesson. (He’s been skiing for like 20+ years, but had never tried to snowboard.) As I was expecting, he was pretty much awesome. And he enjoyed the challenge. So he decided he’d snowboard the next day too and gain a little more experience before he went back to skiing the black slopes.

About an hour into our first full day on the mountain, Tony fell and broke his right wrist. In typical Tony bone-breaking fashion, he did it to the extreme – a broken bone, a wrist dislocation, surgery, a plate and seven screws. No more time on the slopes for him.

Since that time his poor arm has been in a variety of movement-limiting devices. Immediately after surgery it was in a quasi-cast with a wrap and sling. When we got back to Kansas and they were able to remove the staples, he progressed to a full arm cast that went from his armpit to down past his thumb. About a month later, he moved into the cast you see in the photo above – a much more reasonable half-arm cast that (finally) allowed elbow movement.

Today, Tony graduated from that cast into a brace. I’ve not seen it yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s fabulous. Well, okay, that may be over-selling it. But a brace can come off. And can be (somewhat) washed. And should allow for even a little more movement. And those things mean Tony’s going to able to start being more Tony-like again. And start to sleep better. And I like both of those things because I know he’ll be happier.

The injury wasn’t all bad though. It provided some experiences we wouldn’t have had otherwise, testing our relationship to see how well we could work together through adverse situations. (We did pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. I mean, we did survive the trip back from Colorado where I drove 9/10th of the way home. We won’t talk about that other 1/10th….)

I also got to help Tony out a lot in the kitchen and became much more comfortable (and somewhat handy, I think) with a knife and cutting board. Now I’m almost a pro at cleaning and cutting up sweet potatoes. If that wasn’t worth him breaking an arm, I don’t know what is… just kidding.