The Magic of the Ocean

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This summer, as we were planning where we’d go during fall break, the kids said they really wanted to go to the ocean. In October we made that happen, and while the beach lifestyle isn’t really Tony or my’s cup of tea, we thoroughly enjoyed getting to see the kids experience the wondrous power of the ocean for the first time.

We were originally booked for 4 days at an ocean-side condo near Daytona. While our condo wasn’t going to overlook the ocean, it was still going to essentially be in our backyard. Unfortunately, hurricane Milton had other plans. Two weeks prior to departure, the timeshare folks emailed letting us know that the property we were booked at had sustained enough hurricane damage that they were closing down for repairs.

So at that point we had flights to Jacksonville and a rental car booked, but no place to stay. Fortunately Tony took quick action and was able to secure the very last rooms available at the timeshare property in St. Augustine, an hour north of Daytona.

While St. Augustine wouldn’t have been at the top of our dream vacation list, it turned out to be great. The community has a long, rich history and it also located right on the ocean. (The resort was not – but it was only a 25 minute drive away.) The weather was great – typically in the 70’s and there was plenty to do, but also not so much that we walked away feeling like we hadn’t had enough time.

During our time in St. Augustine we visited the ocean every day. Sometimes it was to play in the waves (Tony and the kids, not me … the water was already too chilly!) and the sand. Sometimes we simply walked the beaches looking for shells and other discoveries. The kids had an opportunity to see the differences between high and low tide and jump in “big” waves.

One of the other big requests from the boys prior to our trip was to eat sushi. While Leo had tried sushi before, Alex had not, but he’d been preparing himself for months – watching Youtube videos and teaching himself how to eat pretty fluidly with chopsticks. The boys poured over the menu and ordered a wide variety so they could try lots of options. They loved it!

Recovering from My Kidney Surgery

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I’m officially 3 weeks from having lefty removed. Kidney surgery was a success and went even smoother than my doctor had anticipated. Unfortunately, the recovery part has been a combination of harder and longer than I’d anticipated. That’s definitely not a knock on my doctor, but instead of my naive optimism that I was going to immediately start feeling better and my life would return to normal.

Initially the pain was overwhelming. The first night was horrendous. Knowing what I know now, I think it was a result of all the carbon dioxide the pumped into me for the laparoscopic portion of the surgery. That gas added all sorts of extra pressure to my entire abdomen area so that it felt like a giant was stepping on me all night. The nurses kept trying to give me drugs to make the pain more manageable, but it’s like my body just doesn’t understand how to process morphine or something. There was no relief.

About 36 hours after surgery, I got to see my stomach for the first time – someone took a photo using my phone so I could look. It was astonishing. I had not 1, but 4 incisions and they were no where near I had imagined them being. Everything was swollen and bruised. It was like my torso had gone several rounds with Mike Tyson, except there was also a lot of cuts.

After three nights at the hospital, I finally turned the corner and got a grip on the pain. And that was my ticket out of there. It was still another 4-5 nights before I was finally able to get any significant sleep, but at least I was home in my own bed.

Recovery has been a bit of a culture shock for me. For the first time in a long time, I’ve been COMPLETELY reliant on other people and really needed a small team to support me and all of the other things my family had going on. The reliance has gradually dropped over time (last week I started getting myself up out of bed without help!) but I’m still not driving, not doing chores and needing help with anything that requires lifting/moving something more than 5-10 pounds.

At this point the toughest part is my remarkably low energy levels. I’m only able to work or sit upright for a few hours at a time before I’m exhausted. Being out in the heat, like at one of my kid’s ballgames, speeds up the energy plummet. Consequently I’ve missed more games this summer than I have in the last several summers combined.

I’m so lucky that I have an amazing support system. Tony only left my hospital bedside for a few hours while he had to go get his own MRI done. Outside of that he lived there with me while my parents held down the fort at home. They parked their camper in front of our house and have lived out of it off-and-on the past few weeks. They’re providing transportation for my doctor’s appointments and all of the kid’s things (weights, ball practices, ball games, reading lessons, etc.), not to mention providing entertainment and opportunities for them that I just don’t have the energy or ability to do right now.

I honestly think there’s a chance my kids will look back at this being one of their all-time favorite summers. In some ways it may end up being mine too. The love and support I’ve felt from my family, my work friends and my clients has brought tears to my eyes many times. And the quality time that both myself and my kids are getting with my parents is priceless.

Now if only I could be a bit more patient and get feeling better already.

My (Temporary) Pee Bag Life

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Last Monday I had a procedure done to install a tube in my back so my left kidney drains directly into an external bag. Because said bag has to stay below my kidney, I have become accustom to velcro-ing it to my left calf. It’s convenient, but probably not an “on trend” look.

The procedure itself was pretty smooth. I was in and out of the short term stay hospital in less than 5 hours. The pain was intense for awhile – like I’d been stabbed in the back – but bearable as long as I didn’t move my back. Initially sleeping was rough, but over the course of the last week the pain has dissipated and I’m sleeping much more regularly. I wouldn’t say that I’m quite back to feeling like my normal self – I still tire out really easily, but I’m certainly closer than I’ve been for awhile.

For the most part I’ve been pretty confined to my house since the procedure and will probably stay that way until my left kidney is removed next week. When I do get out to watch one of the kids play ball, I don’t really mind the double-takes or staring that occasionally occurs. I know it’s just curious folks trying to make sense of a bag strapped to my leg. But it’s physically hard for me to be on my feet for long periods of time. I’d compare the exhaustion of a typical grocery shopping outing to be similar to trying to keep up with Tony during one of our 6-hour adventure races. By the time I’m done, I’m ready to just sit down and watch TV for awhile.

Up next: Surgery to remove the left kidney is scheduled for Tuesday. I’m nervous, but also eager to get this all over with and behind me.

Throwing it back to

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1982? What the heck happened in 1982?

Well, I wasn’t even 2 years old, so I can’t tell you anything from my direct memory. But I can tell you from the stories I’ve heard, and am now, in a different season of life, am sort of re-living.

I was a sick child. I had been diagnosed with pneumonia 3-4 times before I was potty trained. It was only at that time that the doctors realized that it wasn’t actually pneumonia, it was kidney infections. Apparently the bladder valves that block your pee from going back up into your kidney didn’t form/function completely for me and the urine reflux was making me sick.

I’m sure it was an amazing relief for my parents to finally figure out what was going on with their baby daughter and learn that it was a fixable issue. What they’d later learn is that a lot of damage had been done and it wasn’t a simple surgery. Over the course of the next 12-18 months, we’d make several trips to Children’s Mercy in Boston for consultations and surgeries with special children’s urologist.

I don’t remember much from those days, but I do have a few core memories: constantly getting my blood drawn, placing pretend IVs in my Cabbage Patch doll, singing songs from Annie with my hospital roommate Julie and fighting over who got to sing, “We love you Miss Hannigan.”

I also remember exploring Boston with a pee bag strapped around my leg and being vaguely embarrassed by it. In hindsight, we may have only been walking in a different wing of the hospital – but I sort of remember seeing artwork…?

Anyway, that’s back. Minus the trips to Boston. And the kids hospital. Now it’s a regular hospital.

Recent History
About a year ago I got sick with a kidney infection that put me in the hospital. Little did I know that it was the first of many infections I’d have over the course of the year. If I wasn’t taking a pretty heavy-duty antibiotic, I was essentially guaranteed to have a kidney infection within two months time.

This latest infection has been a doozy. My body has been trying to fight it for more than a month. I’ve been on 4 antibiotics; nothing is working. On the bright side, because my body realizes the chronic pain and infection in my kidney, it no longer reacts like normal. No fever, just a lot of exhaustion and, at best, I’m always uncomfortable. At worst, I feel like I’ve taken a direct punch to the left kidney (also known as the bad one).

Yesterday I had a CT Scan to confirm that I did not have kidney stones. (If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked by a doc/nurse if I have a history of kidney stones, I’d be able to take an entire ball team out for dinner.) It did confirm that my left kidney still sucks. It’s small and sort of folds over on itself. And while it had been providing some ongoing functionality, it seems now like it’s mostly a harbor for infection and all that is bad.

Moving Forward
Tomorrow I go in for another test to see how well the good kidney functions. In the past I’ve been told that it’s functionality was impaired because of the damage done as a child. I’m honestly not sure when I last had this type of test done. I’m hoping for at least 80% or greater functionality so my chances of kidney failure/going on dialysis/needing a kidney transplant remain relatively low. Ole’ righty has been doing great work for a long time, I have faith that she’s not going to let me down now.

From there I have a couple of surgical paths ahead of me, depending on when I’m able to get on the doctor’s schedule. Nearly all directions lead towards some time with a pee bag again, so I’ll be looking for wearable options to hide a pee bag. But even if I don’t find something suitable, it will all be worth it when my bad kidney is out and I can finally get back to being healthy again.

The Ball Field Life

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It’s the end of March and we’re solidly into the beginnings of our longest seasons of the year – baseball and softball. Leo’s high school team has been loosely practicing once a week since November, shifting to everyday practice as soon as basketball season ended. Alex’s team and Kate’s team have been doing weekly practices since the beginning of February. And we’ve had several days where I’ve taken the kids into town to play catch at the ball field while waiting for Leo’s pickup time.

I’d be absolutely lying if I didn’t confess to loving it. Every dang minute. Even the cold ones like last night!

I’ve been nervous to see how Leo would transition into high school baseball. So far, it’s been great for him. He’s gotten plenty of playing time and been able to play several positions (first base, third base, shortstop and pitcher), even a few new to him. He looks confident and is working to be more of a vocal leader than he’s been in the past. It’s good to see him working hard and having fun.

Tony’s coaching Alex’s team this year and I’m really excited to see how they’re already growing. 10U baseball is an important time – it’s where the kids need to start making strides with their skills and growing their confidence. Tony’s a great coach for that. His love for the game shows and he’s been great at helping the young players break down their skills to help them start learning proper form and habits. I don’t think this team has the ability to be a league contender this year, but it is possible that they could be in future years if they continue to work together and grow they way that I’ve seen thus far.

Kate’s team is a bit of a wildcard as nearly all 8U girls softball teams are, lol. So far we’ve been stuck inside for practice sessions, which admittedly, is tough. But I am seeing glimmers of the starts of these girls’ love for the game pop up. Kate doesn’t show it all the time, but when she decides to be serious, the girl is all-in. For now our focus is keeping it fun and helping them build the skills they’ll need as they get bigger.

For me the biggest question of the summer will be how much I will be playing. Tony and I have regularly played in at least one weekly league and picked up a couple of weekend tournaments for the past 10+ years. As the kids are getting older, my interest in being on the field without them is dropping off. I can’t probably say the same thing for Tony, but I can kinda feel the end of my playing time coming soon. We shall see what opportunities present themselves … maybe I still have another season or two of league ball left in me?