Goodbye, Maternity Leave

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me-and-my-babiesTomorrow marks my first day back to work after my maternity leave with Kate. It’s a bigger deal than when I returned to work after I had Alex, because I know this will be my last maternity leave (at least, that’s the plan).

Part of me is excited to get back. Seeing my friends. Getting back into a routine. (Figuring out what our new routine looks like… .) Diving into client projects. Re-focusing my efforts on taking jhP’s digital to the next level.

But a bigger part of me than I had anticipated is sad.

I didn’t have much trouble taking Kate to her first day of daycare. (She started on Monday.) She’s going to the same daycare the boys have always gone to. I know the staff there so well, it almost feels as though she’s staying with family.

The sadness comes from the thing that’s made me sad the entire maternity leave – knowing that all these are experiences are happening for the last time. Holding a tiny baby close. Watching as they start to wake up and experience the world around them. Their first smiles and sounds. Their first blowouts. It’s the last set of firsts I will get to experience, and it’s been really hard for me to come to terms with. Honestly, I’m not really sure I’m even there yet.

I’d love to have a forth child, I also know I really don’t want to be in my late 60’s as they’re getting married and starting a family. I want to be like my parents and Tony’s parents and be able to help them as they take those first scary steps into parenthood (each time they do it). To help with meals and cleaning and giving them the reassurance that they’re doing a great job. All the things our family has given us over the past few months.

So if you see me tomorrow, and I look a bit down, just remind me I will get to experience this stage again. But it will be doing it through the eyes of my sons and my daughter as they get their turn.

All About Alex – September 2015

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alex-and-the-mustachIt’s hard to believe my little guy is two! It seems like it was only a few months ago when he was a tiny baby making little old man faces. Now he just puts on the occasional mustache when he wants to look like one.

  • Hotdog! A few months back we started watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in the mornings before daycare. Alex has become a big fan. He loves to “dance” when the hotdog song comes on. For the most part, his dancing consists of stomping around the front room and attempting to sing along with it. He’s not able to actually say all of the words, but his bellowing is mostly on-pitch. It’s pretty cute.

    He’s now also become a fan of Paw Patrol. Needless to say our mornings before daycare are pretty cartoon-filled. (At least it keeps the kids somewhat entertained so I’m able to get ready for work.)

  • Just Like Brother. Alex wants to be just like his big brother so everything Leo does, Alex is quick to follow. Leo starts playing with something, Alex wants to play too. Leobrotherly-love goes somewhere, Alex goes too. Leo picks his nose or jumps off the couch, Alex
    picks his nose and jumps off the couch.

    You get the picture.

    It works out great for me when I need to get Alex to cooperate. Leo seems to understand for the most part, so he’s pretty quick to help.

    The only downside is Alex is pretty upset each time Leo goes to his dad’s house. Every morning Alex will wake up and look over at Leo’s bed. When Leo’s not there, he’ll ask, “Where’s Leo?” over and over. It’s sad, but it makes me appreciate how well they get along together. I know he’ll understand the situation a little more as he gets older.

  • Baby Love. Man oh man, Alex loves his baby Kate. I’d been a little nervous about how he would handle having a new baby in the house and having to share attention, but he’s been great. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a bit of a bull in the china closet, so we have to make sure he doesn’t squish her too much. He loves to give her hugs and super drool-filled kisses. At daycare drop-off. At bedtime. Whenever he walks by her. It’s pretty constant.Alex is also infatuated with her tiny feet and holding her hand. He loves to look at herbig-brother feet, and then compare them to his. And he likes to push his finger into Kate’s little clinched fists so she is hanging onto it. I have a feeling they’re going to be best friends (and enemies) real soon!
  • Crayons For Coloring. Only a few short months ago, Alex couldn’t be trusted around crayons. He might spend a few moments holding them, attempting a crafty_alexscribble. But as soon as he thought no one was looking, the crayons would end up in his mouth. Fast forward to Saturday morning when Leo was at the table working on some homework. Leo spent a full hour coloring and drawing on construction paper and never once put anything in his mouth. I consider it a win! Not only did his teeth stay white, he actually sat down and did one thing for more than five minutes – that’s no small feat in our household!

Flying Solo: Part 4

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Yesterday and today have been pretty good. I attribute a lot of that to an unanticipated phone call from Tony yesterday. He was checking in to see how we were doing and let us know they were moving campsites because they hadn’t had much luck seeing/hearing any elk yet.

The icing on the cake was the text messages I received last night and earlier today. The new campsite Tony moved to had just enough of a cell signal to send and receive text messages. It seems a bit silly, but it was so nice to be able to have a brief text conversation with my husband.

Flying Solo: Part 3

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Overall, today went pretty well, but I give full credit for that to my parents and the two hour nap they allowed me to take. The kids and I stayed the night at their house last night. Bedtime last night went pretty smoothly, but for some reason little miss Kate didn’t sleep nearly as well as she normally does.

Starting around 2 a.m. Kate woke up every two hours wanting to eat. She never really ate much before she fell back asleep, but regardless I had to wake up to tend to her. Which meant even though my mom took the first shift with the boys (Alex slept in until 5:15), I still didn’t get much sleep.

Kate must have felt awful about waking me up so much because I was rewarded this morning with her first legit smile, and it was a great big cheesy one. In fact, she was in a smiley mood for quite awhile. Unfortunately I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to capture a photo, but I’m certain there’s plenty more smiles coming.

monopoly_Leo

We spent the day hanging out and watching the boys play. When Alex napped, Leo and I played Monopoly. After Alex woke, the boys played in grandma’s kiddie swimming pool and had fun splashing and jumping around. This evening we played darts and washers out in the barn.

It was a low-key day, but it’s exactly what I needed. Hopefully we can have a few more of those this week.

Flying Solo: Part Two

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This single parent gig is rough. I did it for awhile with Leo after my divorce and found it challenging. But now, with three kids, it’s a whole new level. We’re only two days in and I’m already struggling. I’ll chalk a big portion of that up to my early wake up call.

Around 2:30 a.m. last night I was up with Kate for her nightly nursing and my pumping session. I was back to bed around 3:15 hoping I’d be able to grab a few more hours of sleep before the boys were up. That definitely didn’t happen. Instead I was back up at 4 a.m. with Alex, who decided it was time to start the day.

We watched cartoons (Paw Patrol and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse),crafty_alex ate breakfast and did art projects. Leo worked on his homework, creating a really cool poster all about him,
while Alex was coloring on sheets of construction paper. Even with the fun activities, it became very clear that with three kids, at least one of them was going to be upset and crying about half of the time.

homework_Leo

Thankfully my parents came up to help me mid- morning, so while I had a busy day, at least for a good chunk of it, I wasn’t alone in trying to keep kids entertained and happy.